bash.org
x-c0n: Dude I was so drunk last night.. apparently this girl said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered, "Simba".
<popemichael> I'm thinking about drinking a little tonight too. It might make my pain pills work better.
<jamie> Isn't there a "do not take with alcohol" warning on your pill bottle?
<popemichael> It's okay, I took it off.
[ron`] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a rake
Josh: QUESTION FOR EVERYONE....
SecureXeC: IT'S TO THE LEFT OF YOUR 'A' KEY.
<Kuiper> Well, it rained today, but as a whole it's been warmer than it was last week.
<kikuichimonji> Why does it seem like every time you join this channel, you end up talking about the weather?
<kikuichimonji> Is your life so unimaginably dull that you can't think of any events in your life to describe that might be more interesting than the weather?
<kikuichimonji> Let's think of something for you to talk about other than the weather.
<kikuichimonji> I mean, we barely even know anything about you, other than where you live.
<kikuichimonji> Let's start there. Whatdo you do for a living?
<Kuiper> I'm a meteorologist.
<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants
<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.
<BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta :D
<BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work
<BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
<BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?
<Cyan> Some dude tried to break in last night at like 2am, but I was on the comp and it's like right beside the window so I heard the faggot.
<Cyan> Anyways, I grabbed the folding chair and as soon as he was like halfway through I beat the fucking shit out of him.
<Cyan> So he's laying here unconscious and I call the cops. Once they get here, they search him and look at what he fucking had:
<Cyan> 8 track tape (unlabeled), Flashlight (no batteries), Half eaten box of Fig Newtons, Measuring tape, Instructions to "Monopoly."
<dan> Dude, you fucking killed McGuyver!
<MasterG> .......................................................................................................
<judas> where's pacman when you need him?
<Larno> I got terribly smashed the night before
<Larno> And some electricity cable broke down in my street
<Larno> it was like 6am postman and garbage dudes were there- watching them workin on it and the street was blocked by police cars
<Larno> eventually they knocked at my door so i m in front of a cop, a worker with his helmet a garbage mate, a postman and my neighbour- a huge black guy who works in IT
<Larno> and all I can say is “oh maan the village people became jehovah witnesses”
<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?
<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
<Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> fuck me
<Redbeard> I declared my undying love to someone.
<Redbeard> I told her that my love is like the skeleton turtles in Mario.
